Still Rising with Grace: Learning to Love Myself Again

Category: Personal Growth | Faith & Healing
Tags: self-love, healing, faith, stroke recovery, personal growth, gratitude
Estimated reading time: 6 minutes

After surviving a stroke at 51, I began a journey of rediscovering faith, gratitude, and self-love. This post shares my story of learning to rise stronger — with grace.

A New Beginning

This blog is a new endeavor — one that comes with a big learning curve. I appreciate your patience and grace as I find my footing.

When I started learning how to blog, I kept coming across the advice that I should “tell my story.” My first thought? Good Lord. This is supposed to be a blog, not War and Peace.

The truth is, writing about myself has always tripped me up — not because I don’t have plenty to say, but because I have so much to say that I never quite know where to begin.

But I want this space to be about more than just stories. I want it to be about not just surviving the things designed to break you, but thriving — stronger — for having gone through them.

This blog is for anyone who’s felt stuck on the struggle bus — tired, worn, and searching for a glimmer of faith and hope. Because sometimes, just knowing that you’re not alone makes all the difference.

The Moment Everything Changed

Last year, I woke up in an ICU bed, 51 years old, after surviving a stroke.

In that quiet, sobering moment, I realized I had spent most of my life taking care of everyone but myself. I had poured out every drop of who I was into caring for others — and left nothing for me.

Somewhere along the way, I had lost the ability to love myself. Losing that self-love also took away my gratitude — for the small joys, the simple blessings. Without that gratitude, my emotional health began to crumble.

But if I’m honest, I don’t think I ever truly knew how to love myself. The kind of love I grew up with was transactional — something you earned or owed.

It took me a long time to realize that I didn’t need to relearn how to love myself. I needed to unlearn what I had been taught was love.

The Long Road Back

Recovering from the stroke meant healing more than just my body.

Physically, I was lucky. The doctors said my stroke — an embolic one caused by a post-surgery blood clot — could have left me with serious impairments. But by the grace of God, it didn’t.

Still, there were challenges. My right hand (and I’m right-handed) was weak. Writing was difficult. So I started with colored gel pens and adult coloring books, practicing my name over and over until I could hold a pen again.

My speech was another story. I experienced aphasia — the loss of my ability to speak. My brain knew what it wanted to say, but my mouth couldn’t always keep up. Word games became therapy. Over time, things improved — though even now, stress or exhaustion can bring those glitches back.

My vision also took a hit. Blurred sight and pain with eye movement made everything harder, especially since I work on a computer. I did small eye exercises, pushed through discomfort, and prayed for healing. Thankfully, my vision returned — though I still get the occasional ocular migraine.

Healing the Heart

The physical recovery was tangible. But the emotional recovery — that was the real work.

It began when I truly embraced that I am one of God’s children, and that I need to love myself the way He loves me — fully, unconditionally, and without fear.

And that applies to others too. I try to love my neighbors as God does, even when I don’t always like them. Because at the end of the day, they’re His children too. That reminder shapes how I treat people, regardless of whether it’s appreciated or reciprocated.

But let’s be honest — I’m still human. There comes a time when you have to stop treating people the way you want to be treated and start treating them the way they deserve to be treated.

Not out of spite, but out of self-respect and the need for healthy boundaries.

Not everyone deserves your energy — and that’s okay.

Still Rising

I’m grateful — truly — to be able to say that my recovery has gone remarkably well. I’m stronger, healthier, and more grounded in my faith than I’ve ever been.

This is just one part of my journey, one chapter in a much larger story of growth and grace.

Because no matter what you’ve been through — no matter how broken you’ve felt — you can still rise.

And I’m still rising, with grace. I hope you'll join me!

💬 Have you ever gone through a season that forced you to rediscover yourself? I’d love to hear your story. Share in the comments below or message me directly — we rise stronger together.